Gratitude Challenge

I am not consistent here but I am updating daily on my InstaStory and highlighted it under #gratitude30.

I am glad I took this challenge because I know which part I need to work on and I feel 2018 was a mixture of good and bad.

So I guess this is my last post for 2018.

I don't have any new year resolutions. I am just going to go with the flow.

Talking about resolutions, I remember my brother and I would write down our goals for the upcoming year on 31/12 night.

And I remember writing down about my grades for SPM, meeting Viknes and some other things I don't remember.

Well, it was good time. Tsk ;)

Happy New Year!

Limousine

Hi everyone,

While talking about cars with my friends one day, I remembered my wedding car was a limousine.

In the heat of the arguments with some of negative people in my wedding, I totally did not cherish the ride back home to Hutan Melintang.

All I remembered was crying to Viknes on why this people tried to ruin our wedding.

It has been 4 years. This people have spoiled on what should have been my beautiful memory and still have the guts to think they are right.

But but, I remembered saying wow to the car, our selfies in it, my cousin sister Maithily who accompanied me and we are married despite whatever they tried.

To the beautiful limo, my awesome brother who arranged it, my husband who sometimes reminds me on it, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

💙

Day 3 of #gratitude30 : Love

Love comes in all forms.

I believe action speaks louder than words. 

I send love to everyone who loves me. Thank you for being with me in my times of hardship and battle.

I am very grateful.

💙

Day 2 of #gratitude30 : Inspiration

When it comes to gratitude for inspiration, I can write many pages on what inspires me from each person I know.

My parents : They have not once mentioned how much they have sacrificed for me and my brother. I knew and noticed it as I grow up.

Ok, let's see who inspires me from social media.

Revady N : I stumbled upon her page when I was feeling low in my life. She talks about positivity, gratitude and styling. Part of me owe her on what I am now compared to beginning of the year.

Sumitra Selvaraj : I like to read her stories that she writes along with her picture on Insta.

Vidya Vox : She sings so well, her outfit combo is amazing and I like her hair 💙

Anjana from CurlsBeautyDiary and Deepika from DesiCurly : This girls inspire me to love my curls and both of them are generous with knowledge and willing to help.

So the list goes on.

I also have people who remind me not to be like them in future.

So that's day 2.

Appa 💙

When I was young, younger ok...I am still young now hahaha 😊, my father had mentioned that he likes Benz. He also made me watch football and told me he will buy Portugal jersey(because I was crazy over Christiano Ronaldo).

Even though the jersey doesn't make its way which I don't mind, I always wanted to rent a Benz so my father can drive it.

I told my father playfully when I was 14, I will bring him to watch World Cup live from the stadium. I don't know if I can or will be able to afford that but I hope I can bring him watch live football match in Malaysia at least. 

I want to see him grin in happiness like he usually do. 

Dear Universe,

Please make way for this to happen.

Day 1 of #gratitude30 : Home

Two quotes// sayings that I freaking love:

1) Sometimes, home has a heartbeat too
2) Home is the where the heart belongs

This two quotes instantly remind me of my husband and my family.

Recently, I watched a movie; Kaatrin Mozhi where Viji(Jhotika)'s sisters would say that if there is any problem in the job you are working, you will come finding us. I Ioved viji's response. Yes I will come, because you are my family.

And I have seen how my husband, parents and brother have helped me during my downtimes.

Yeah, so these people are my home. People I look forward to tell my good and bad day. People I share my dreams.

Home 🏡

November 2018

Hi everyone,

It got me thinking when I was reading the fertility journey of others; why no update after this step? What happened?

I know why now and I am choosing to keep it to myself as well until everything turns out fine.

One thing for sure; the journey isn't easy.

Well, well, well...

November ended so fast. I couldn't believe we are already on the last month of the year now.

So, it was Deepavali month. And I took a sudden decision on being vegetarian for 6 days on Sasthi. Try to read//hear the benefits on YouTube.

Oh by the way, I started updating whatever dishes I cook on Instastory so that I can highlight it.

Then, it was my 4th wedding anniversary last 27th. I used my final half day at work, we went out for a movie; Katrin Mozhi and ate good Chinese food.

So overall, it was a month full of ups and downs.

Hi December :)

Dengkil 😊

The place I dreaded to move. But, I am loving it here.

It feels like home here. Even though Cyberjaya and Dengkil only 10 minutes apart, there is a vast difference between this two cities.

I love that I can find my favourite Chinese kueh here. I literally feel like this emoji : 😻

The temple is just around the corner and right now, my husband and I have weekly visits there.

I should have moved here sooner but better late than never.

;)

My TTC Journey 🚼: LPPKN Part 4

Since my husband need to repeat his semen test, we walked in again on the 27/9/2018. I paid only RM25 this session and was given another appointment on the 24/10/2018.

The doctor told me to prepare up to RM600 for this appointment.

I want to be a mother so badly. At least before I turn 30. 

With a lot of prayers, folic acid every day and medical appointments, I believe I will be one.

😊

My TTC Journey 🚼: LPPKN Part 3

Hi all,

I just realized the last I updated was on the 19th July. I totally missed to update my appointment on the 24th July.

So, this was on my 21st cycle. There was a blood draw and pap smear. I paid a total of RM65 for this.

My husband has to repeat his semen test though. So we need to walk in again.  Hopefully this week.

After this appointment, everything was inin ru because I had a flight to Krabi on the 27th.

My TTC Journey 🚼: HSG X-Ray

On the first day of your period, you need to call the clinic given by the LPPKN doctor to set an appointment for HSG x-Ray. 

In my case, it was Daya x-Ray centre. 

The waiting period was not long. And it was only 2 minutes but the doctor who will be doing the procedure is a male. And a very arrogant one, I feel.

Usually, I will search on Google on every freaking details of my scan or report. This time, I just let it go.

I paid a total of RM290 and was telling my husband this better be worth it. Haha cause the cramps for the two minutes even though bearable felt like two hours.

My TTC Journey 🚼: LPPKN Part 2

Hi there,

So this is the part where you go to get your blood tested. They will test your FSH, LSH and if both husband and wife has any STDs. This is a walk in appointment.

I paid a total of RM101 for this appointment.

The doctor also will give you a follow up appointment for another blood test and pap smear 😱 on the 21st day of your cycle.

In between, you need to do HSG X- Ray. This will be at different place so I will write another post on it.

🌌

Rice Cooker 🍚

Survival mode kicked in this week. The induction stove at my apartment suddenly stopped working. I can't find out the reason. It is end of the month and honestly, I am almost broke. Eating outside means RM7-RM10 per meal. Then only I realized that I can cook with rice cooker while I repair the induction stove. 😂 . So far, I cooked only two dishes - egg sambal and ginger chicken.

I am currently practicing mindfulness. Still a newbie but I learned a lot. Some tips I picked up along the way :-

🌿 Do one thing at a time.
🌿 If you are stressed out, take deep breaths and use your 5 senses to control your emotion.
🌿 Take at least 3 minutes a day to reflect on yourself at current state.

So yeah, I feel more productive after practicing this. I used to write when I feel overwhelmed, but now only I realized it is called brain dump.

Ok then, I guess that's it for today. 😊

My TTC Journey 🚼 : LPPKN Part 1

For those wandering what is TTC, it means trying to conceive. I had conceived before but it was not viable.

I planned to go for fertility treatment and thanks to my colleague, she told me about LPPKN. 

I messaged them on Facebook and I they replied with the numbers to call. Oh, I can't upload the screenshot. I will try to upload on the laptop later.

So, I called and got an appointment on 14/5.

Basically, this is the first step.

Your husband will be sent for a semen analysis.

While he is on that, you will have a questionnaire with a doctor.

And once you are done, your husband who by then should be back from semen analysis will be called for questionnaire. 

Once the semen result is out, the doctor will set an appointment for you based on your period dates.

On the next period, you have to go for blood tests within day 2 - day 5.

Then, you have to call for HSG x-ray appointment, usually day 9.

You will have another appointment on day 21. And then, finally, you will have an appointment with the doctor.

The doctor who will attend me is Dr.Komathy. 

I paid a total of RM75 for this session.

I will update on following sessions. Baby dust to all on the same boat.

😘

On a quest for Kula Deivam

 I am currently TTC for a baby. I am going for fertility treatments and also doing all I can - prayers. By coincidence, my husband watched a video about Kula Deivam.

Hindus do believe on Kula Deivam. It means a deity who protects your family generation by generation. I need to follow my husband's side. My father in law is not sure on this; who and where.

So I start reading. I found out few important points.

1. Kula Deivam need to be approached for every good occasions of the family. Example ; weddings, baby showers, naming ceremony etc.
2. Who and whereabouts of the Kula Deivam can be found by the eldest son's or daughter's astrology.
3. You can also go to a priest to find out.
4. You can also light a agal vilaku with nallennai. Place it facing north and pray to the deity.

My husband and I went to a priest and we found out about it.

My feeling after finding out is relief.  I don't know why, but I feel relieved.

I am back!

But, with a disclaimer. I hope I will update frequently but you know, adulting gets in between. 

So, well, I didn't really know where to begin. It has been a long time since I last updated. Let me start from today.

It has been a productive offday. I slept in until 12pm. I went to have lunch with Viknes. I came back home and did string art. Then, I swept the house, folded some clothes and showered. Now on bed, writing this.

I just did a brain dump. I was feeling overwhelmed for the past few days. Thank God for Internet, I managed to find a way to get rid of the feeling. You just dump everything on your brain and then organize it. 

I am working tomorrow and it will be 6 days in a row. 💪 I am sure I can do this.

It feels good to write here, again.

😊